OK, where am I.
The past few years (or million years?) I’ve been fretting about what to do next, what life choice I need to make to feel like I’m both enjoying life and doing something meaningful. Not fretting like biting-my-nails fretting or going-to-bed-crying fretting or can’t-breathe-under-the-weight-of-this-existential-angst fretting, more like: most weeks, I think about it – it’s a general background concern that, if I don’t figure something out, I’ll never solve this problem – I’ll always *either* be enjoying life OR feeling like I’m doing something meaningful, but never both at once.
So, stuff it. I’m taking a break from vague worry for a year. 2019 is just about enjoying life. I’m going to purchase some roses from the internet and smell them.
- Read a book every day – in my 2018 resolutions I had “12 books,” thinking I’d work towards one book each month. But I found that goals work much better for me if I look at the small picture in relation to the big picture (the ‘ol “what you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while“). If I only have a few minutes spare before sleep, I can read a couple of pages and I’ve completed the goal. If I have more time, I might end up reading loads of pages. And in this way, I get through books. (12 books in 2017, 48 books in 2018.)
- Write in journal every day – I didn’t prioritise this last year, and became more insular for it. Writing in a journal helps me get into a sharing mode, where I feel more like sharing thoughts with other people. I won’t be able to do this every day, but it’s better for me to try to keep it as a daily goal – as per the quote above.
- Draw in sketchbook every day – this was a 2018 resolution and I kept it really well for the first half of the year. Then I had conflicting priorities, other projects, winter sickness, etc, and I totally dropped the ball. So I’m going to try to chip away at it again.
- Follow your curiosity / Make the time to do it interestingly – these were 2018 resolutions, so it’s not really something I’m changing – they’re things I want to continue to do. “Follow your curiosity” is like giving myself permission to go down rabbit holes. (I heard the vlog brothers say they follow their curiosity and it leads them to all kinds of projects, and I liked that.) “Make the time to do it interestingly” helped me to remember that time & effort needs to be put into things to make them interesting (i.e. creative). So, for example, sometimes I fall back into old work habits and do something like write emails to people that are purely functional and minimal. Sometimes that’s fine. Other times, I want to remember that if I put a bit more time & effort into it, the email could be more interesting. And sometimes that’s what I really want to do.
- Join the world – this is a new one for 2019. I feel like I have withdrawn from the world. I used to love being a part of a work team, going to meetups, conferences and what-not. Heck, I even started my own clubs. I need to find a way to do a new version of that. I miss groups. I miss being a part of something.
- Dream home – this one’s been on my “to do” list for a couple of years, but not a priority. I gotta make it a priority. Nothing about our house is going to change if I don’t find a company to renovate it! Duh.
Easy-peasy! Let’s see how that all goes.
Happy new year, sweets. ❤️