I started to write about how I’ve worked on being happier over the past few years, and how it’s been a slow ride, but the things I’ve been doing have been working for me, when I realised:
Maybe I wouldn’t be happy today if I didn’t find love in 2013.
Which got me to thinking – yes, working on my happiness has probably also been significant, but – I don’t think we let each other talk enough about the astounding significance of finding, losing or lacking love.
In 2012, I went looking for love on a dating site, almost ashamed, wanting to play it down. Just looking for some dates. But I wasn’t. I was looking for long-term love. I wanted to love someone, to be loved, to really connect. I thought about it a lot. I was alone and lonely. It’s not cool to say that, but it’s true.
I wish I could have said to myself: It’s OK for this to feel very important. It is. You should work hard on finding love. Make it a project. Give it your time, creative thought and attention. Don’t feel ashamed. Look everywhere, find new ways to meet new people.
James changed my life. He made me feel secure and supported. I wouldn’t have quit my job, become a freelancer, and written a novel draft (while living off my savings) if he wasn’t in my life. I wouldn’t have gone to Burning Man, which was one of the most beautiful (and scary) experiences I’ve ever had. And I’m not sure about the maths on this, but people tell me I wouldn’t have had babies without him. Those babies have levelled-up my happiness like nothing else could.
I probably wouldn’t be working on my side-project-business-idea if he wasn’t in my life. 💌
So, I just want to say, if there’s anyone out there reading this, looking for love:
It’s OK for this to feel very important. It is.
You should work hard on finding love.
Make it a project.
Give it your time, creative thought and attention.
Don’t feel ashamed.
Look everywhere, find new ways to meet new people.