It’s kind of amazing to have a lifestyle where sometimes there is paid work, and sometimes there are free days. When I was starting out trying to get freelance work, I had too many free days and I lost perspective of how fantastic they are. Then I had 3 months of paid work, almost non-stop, and when that came to an end, the contrast of free days was bright and powerful again. During those 3 months, I didn’t have the time, energy or right frame of mind to nurture myself in simple ways, with simple routines.
Now that I’m fortunate enough to have some breathing space, I’m being regimented about daily writing, book-reading, other forms of stimulation (like TV shows and movies), and walks around the neighbourhood, where possible. I’m policing my computer time. It would be easy to spend all day on the computer, doing and reading and whatevering and more doing, but I know from experience that it wouldn’t eventually give me the feelings of growth or satisfaction that I need. Making sure that I have non-doing time is really important. It gives me boredom, live-in-the-moment-ness, a dreaming and drifting imagination, and more self-awareness. I feel so much more in touch with what I like and dislike, what I find fun, what’s important to me, and what I would like my environment and my presentation to be like. I become aware that my boyfriend actually needs me, and needs my love, attention and affection. I nurture him. He nurtures me. I get more ideas and, then, more ideas on how to make those happen. (Last week, two simple network/community ideas: one for freelancers, and one for everyone in Girls Club. It doesn’t matter that they have the same technical solution. They’re solving two important problems for me: where to find freelancers, and how to connect with Girls Club members.)
The next Girls Club topic is Resilience and so I’ve been researching the topic and working on tidbits, examples, exercises, tactics, etc, so that we can put together an informative and helpful workshop. It’s such a big and interesting topic! Everything from self-efficacy to communication skills… I’m looking forward to it. Helping someone else is the best. If we can give a few attendees a new way of dealing with a problem, or help change their self-talk so that it’s more positive, or something similar, it will be fabulous.
In other news, I think I’d secretly like to make a magazine. Whenever I’m at the airport, I browse the magazines and I’m disappointed, afresh, each time. Gossip mags, beauty mags, fashion mags, interviews-with-actors-and-models mags, science mags… there are a few that have potential, like Frankie, Yen and Dumbo Feather, but I flick through them and don’t relate. I’d like to make a magazine that’s informative and helpful, like Girls Club… but with elements of ridiculousness and non-doing. I’d also like to make a podcast, because I feel like there are so few female voices in podcast land. I’ve been thinking about doing it for a long time, so either I’m finding the first step difficult (ask a person to be on the podcast, set a date, record!) or I don’t really want to do it. Our brains are so complicated.