Exploding Porridge

Look. I had problems. I knew how to make porridge perfectly in a saucepan. And I knew how to make porridge perfectly with those “quick oats” sachets in the microwave. But…

Saucepan porridge takes longer to clean up, and porridge sachets are apparently lame (according to my mum, who knows maybe one thing, or two) because they require that the oats are pre-cooked then dried again, thus removing nutrients and fibre.

Anyway, my point is, I wanted to make perfect microwave porridge. I tried several different tactics (standing on my head, using three microwaves at once, praying to the microwave gods) but everything I tried seemed to lead to the same result. Exploding porridge. A massive mess in the microwave. Hungry and crying foxes.

So. We need to replicate what happens in the saucepan:
– It gets hot, then we keep the oats at a hot temperature for ages.

Here’s what works for me:

  1. 1/3 cup oats and 1 cup water
  2. Heat for 2 minutes on High to get hot, then stir
  3. Heat for 3 minutes on 10% to keep hot, then stir
  4. Heat for 3 minutes on 10% to keep hot, then stir
  5. Let it sit for a few minutes to further absorb the water, then eat

Unfortunately it requires you to operate the microwave several times, like a Commander of the USS Microwave; maybe get a Microwave Captain’s hat; but it’s worth it. I find things to do in between microwave beeps, like having sex and feeding my pet tiger, Gary. You might find that 4 minutes is too long or too short for your simmering time, so you might need to adjust that. I believe in you.

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